Always lazy syndrome

Once a year for posting seems plenty for my lazy ass self. It's not that I haven't had plenty to say, but between my fingers that don't cooperate and how whiny I think I sound....well.... Here is what I'm really noticing - every little thing is difficult these days. I am exhausted by minimal effort. I experience frustration on a daily basis. That means I can still do things - I'm not locked in and totally non functional. I think that's a good thing. Sometimes my spirit is willing, but....well that's a big but because most things I can't do. The mundane things - bathing, dressing, feeding myself are challenges I'm sick of. They are exhausting! I've given up cooking of any kind, the bed doesn't get made, blah blah blah. The amount of money spent on clothing is greatly reduced - instead it goes to a caregiver who makes sure I'm wearing clean underwear. I love her! The latest decline is my neck which, when I'm tired, seems to have a mind of its own and it is not in the clouds. Rather it's flopping onto my chest. Quite uncomfortable. The less I am able to move, the more my joints freeze. Well, my whole system is kind of freezing up (or conversly, completely floppy.) Yes, I'm in pain. Along with my physical deterioration. I find my tolerance for mental stimulation greatly diminished. About five minutes of obnoxious people, loud tv, music or crowds is all I can tolerate. So parties are not on my list these days either. And my patience for idiots, fools (never a strong point for me) is almost nil. Maybe that's a good thing too. I don't have time or energy. Hell, I don't have time or energy for the people I love!!!! Here's what I've finally learned. An ALS gift? Don't argue with stupid or crazy. It's pointless. Oh duh! It took ALS to get me to that conclusion? okay, I'm an idiot sometimes! How much time have I wasted doing that in my life? Access a Ride has taught me this valuable life lesson, and I'm truly working on ways to deal with my frustration and lack of patience. What a bunch of idiots and what a degrading experience this delightful service provides. And BTW, please don't ever tell a handicapped person how fucking lucky they (we) are to thave all the wonderful services we have. You able bodied people really have no clue if thats what you think. You be the Pollyanna - I'll be the one waiting outside in my wheelchair hoping the driver will show up in time to get me to my appointment. There are many rules - rider must be on time, but driver can be up to 1/2 late for "promised" pickup time. If you have a 2:00 appointment they may give you a 12:43 pick up time, even if the destination is 15 minutes away. If appointment is for 2:00 and said appointment will take only 15 minutes, you aren't allowed a pick up for at least one hour past appointment start time. So that 2:00 appointment time necessaries a 3:00 Pick up request which could end up being another hour for "promised" pickup time, plus another 1/2 hour wait time granted the driver. I know! Just think - instead of writing this I could have spent the whole afternoon taking advantage of one of the wonderful services provided me. I'm such an ungrateful bitch! That is Ungrateful whiny bitch to you! But, really, it's stressful, annoying and degrading. It's hard to be thankful sometimes. Time for a delightful happy hour drink!